Things that Annoy Me

1) People who drive slowly in the fast lane: Pay attention next time this happens. I think you'll find that a large majority of the time it is someone driving a pickup or an SUV.

2) People who put the Apple sticker on PC's: Yes, I get it. You are a MAC person who is forced by your company to use a PC and you just can't resist your little hint of civil disobedience. I can't believe your company has the nerve to buy you a brand new PC that doesn't allow you to easily view multi-media at work and doesn't come pre-loaded with iTunes. The nerve of them. Just another way "The Man" is trying to keep you down.

3) Toothpaste Tubes: Why do I have to work so hard to get all of the toothpaste out? Instead of creating a new toothpaste that turns colors when my all of my teeth are brushed, just fix the damn tube so I can get what I've paid for.

4) People who give exact change: Why is it so important for people to pay for things with the exact change? Don't they know there are people waiting in line behind them? Is it really that big of a deal to get $.37 back? Is this something that happens to you when you turn 50? And how did they get all of that change to begin with if they are always paying the bill to the penny?

5) People who pay by check: Why on earth does anyone need to pay for anything, other than an occasional bill, by check? Why do you insist on writing a check when there are 53 people behind you in line? Why do stores even accept checks? Why do those check writing people only start writing the check once the final total is tallied? I understand you don't yet know the amount, but I'm pretty sure the name of the store and the current date are not going to change while she is ringing up your groceries. And why do you have to fill in your check register while you are still standing in front of me in line?

6) Compact Parking Spots: I'd rather you just admit that you didn't have enough room to build an appropriately sized parking lot instead of making 3/4 of the spaces only big enough for a Yugo (Yes, you heard me right, Yugo...I refuse to even mention the word "Smart" car. Damn...I just did). And what is the point of the compact space? Was it some failed attempt to encourage us to buy smaller cars? Don't they know that pickup truck and SUV drivers just don't care about the laws of the road?

7) Handicap spaces at Gyms: I'll refrain from poking at handicapped spaces in general, although I do believe they are one of the most abused public traffic perks in the World. However, I cannot hide my complete disdain for handicapped spaces at a Gym. I'm sorry, but if you are capable enough to go work out, then you are capable enough to park where I do.

8) People who post their every move on Facebook: I hate to admit it, but I see the value of Facebook in general. I'm even a member and do enjoy catching up with old friends from time to time. But I don't care what you need in order to get to level 111 on Mafia Wars. I don't care what color my kiss is. I don't want you to send me a shot of Patron on a Friday. I don't care which member you are of the Brady Bunch, Melrose Place, Gilligans Island, or any other long lost TV program. I don't care if you are bored, whether you love your hubby, if you are bloated, what you had for dinner, when you are going to bed, what you are currently doing on vacation, what your 3 year old just fell into, what you are cooking for dinner, what your birthday is, or whether or not you are stressed. Enough said.

9) People who wear shorts and hats to work: You either don't care or you've given up.

10) Crying babies, sticky hands, missing socks, people who change my car seat or rear view mirror placement, decaf coffee, bleu cheese, ear wax, chalk, flies, stale bread, dry cake, foreign speaking drive through attendants, ATM surcharges, warm pillows, tags on shirts, cats, dry hands, chapped lips, and bad air conditioners. Did I miss anything?