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I honestly cannot believe that people are getting paid to make the terrible commercials that are on TV these days. I'd like to think the talent pool in the advertising world is drying up with the advent of the DVR, but for as long as I can remember TV commercials have sucked. Why is it that beer companies almost never have a bad commercial? It really just boils down to a complete and total lack of effort on the part of the company advertising. They are looking for me to spend my hard earned money on their products yet they appear to do almost nothing to make me pay attention to what they are selling. It's insulting. My top 10 commercial observations:

1) Why are commercials about beds almost always located outside? I have never once seen a bed outside, yet I know of at least 3 commercials where the focus is on people on beds outside. One of them is even on a hill overlooking the GG Bridge!! None of them are actually sleeping or really doing anything other than lying in some akward pose.

2) Why do erectile dysfunction commercials always have a man and woman in separate bath tubs outside? Is this really the demographic of the ED couple? Do they all go to Sonoma and sit in tubs by Vinyards? This is impractical for numerous reasons. I'd like to see how they are going to have sex in one of those things. They are old and the tub is small. I don't' know how the tubs get filled and I don't know how they stay warm. I've got one word for why the man has ED...SHRINKAGE.

3) Why are local commercials so incredibly horrible? Have you ever seen a good local commercial? I understand local businesses don't have the ad budgets of a large company, but their efforts are not even close to acceptable. The production quality is horrible, the actors are terrible, the lines are awful. They are basically unwatchable.

4) Why are radio commercials even worse than local commercials? Do they think because you are trapped in a car that you are forced to listen to them? Have they done studies that show people don't change the station during commercials as much as they would turn the TV channel? Are they just at a point where they know they can't stop them but don't want to put any more money than is absolutely necessary into them? You would think radio spots need to be as good as possible since you not only don't have anything to look at, but the driver's attention also distracted by other more important chores...you know, talking on the cell phone, shaving, eating, putting on make-up, etc. There are radio spots that are so bad and have annoyed me so much, that I refuse to listen to the radio at all when they are on and refuse to buy any products from those companies. No, I will not make your phone ring, ring.

5) Why do they have dogs or bears as the main characters in toilet paper commercials? What on earth do animals have to do with toilet paper? I guess they are going after that soft and cuddly impression, but the reality is bears are vicious animals that kill their prey by scratching them until they bleed to death. Actually, now that I think about it, maybe that is an appropriate analogy for toilet paper.

6) Why are cigarette companies not allowed to have ads for smoking on TV and why can't alcohol companies show someone drinking alcohol in a liquor/beer commercial, yet they are allowed to routinely show both on television programs? I'm not quite sure what the difference is.

7) Why is it necessary for commercials to be several decibels louder than the TV program they so rudely interrupted? I'm sure they are just trying to get my attention, but don't they know I'm fast forwarding through them anyway?

8) Why do all TV stations have commercials at the same time? Wouldn't you think one of the crappy channels would stagger their commercials so the average user has something to turn to during a break? Wouldn't that give them at least a chance at gaining some market share? Nothing frustrates me more than being forced to watch a crappy commercial (see point 4 above).

9) Why is there a law that says you must list all side affects of a drug if you say what the drug does in the commercial? It doesn't really make the drug very appealing. I'm glad you created something to control my high cholesterol, but I'm not sure I'm okay with the risk of stroke, infertility, mild to moderate headaches, nausea, sore throat, itchy knees, irritable bowel syndrome, restless leg syndrome, Lou Gehrig's disease, cataracts, scurvy, and kidney stones.

10) Why is it that companies all have great commercials for the Superbowl? What they are telling me is they could apply themselves and give a little better effort the other 364 days of the year, but they choose not to. They are telling me they don't give a crap about what I think about their product until they have to pay $3 million for a 30 second spot. They are telling me they don't apply themselves until it makes financial sense or until they know someone is going to do a thorough ROI on the value of money spent. They are telling me that beer companies are not better at commercials, they just know how to be consistent (the irony here is drinkers will drink whether there are commercials or not). And most of all they are telling me they ABSOLUTELY KNOW that no one is watching their commercials any other time of the year.