1) I've noticed that most bottled water companies are now proclaiming their bottles are made with significantly less plastic. This is, no doubt, a response to the environmental issues associated with plastic disposal and the subsequent flocking of people towards eco-friendly, reusable steel bottles. However, I'm also quite sure making a bottle with less plastic also costs less to produce. So why is my bottled water more expensive now instead of cheaper? And why were the bottled water companies not smart enough to figure this out on their own to reduce their operating costs? Seems to me they could have saved millions of dollars years ago.
2) Why can't AM radio figure out how to keep a reception when I drive under a bridge or go into a parking garage? We can communicate with relative clarity to the Space Shuttle but I can't listen to sports radio when I go under an overpass.
3) What's happened to all of the phone booths? I understand pay phones in general have become obsolete due to cell phones, but the phone booths seemed to have just disappeared overnight. Where on earth is Superman going to change now?
4) Why don't you ever see any commercials for Tivo? Seems to me those watching commercials are their absolute target audience. Much like the apartment signs that read, "If you lived here, you'd already be home" I can see a Tivo add that reads, "If you had Tivo, you wouldn't have to watch this commercial". Does TV advertising simply go against the company's belief system? Possibly, but I know of no other company whose target audience will always be exactly the people who are watching the commercial.
5) I don't care about Global Warming and I'm fine admitting it. I will never go green except for the times when doing so saves me money. I will only buy a hybrid vehicle in order to save money on gas and to drive in the HOV lane. I will only recycle because I'm forced to do so and because my regular garbage can is not large enough to fit all of my trash. I will continue to drive an SUV or any other gas guzzling vehicle of my liking. I will run the air conditioner until I freeze, will throw away my batteries, keep electronics plugged in even when they are turned off, burn wood in my fireplace for as long as I choose, never care about my carbon footprint, and will never under any circumstance buy a carbon credit.
6) Why do people preface what they are about to say with, "To be honest,"? What about all of the others things you just said? Were you not honest on those? Are you only honest when you give me that disclaimer?
7) Why do we insist on trying to improve everything? I realize that constantly striving for perfection is part of what has made our country great, but I think some things are better left alone. For example, speed bumps worked just fine; why do we need speed humps? Pizza is quite possibly the greatest invention of all time, yet annually someone is trying to fill the crust with cheese, or have the sauce on top, or put meat in the crust, etc. Just leave the damn thing alone. New Coke was forced upon us when Old Coke was selling just fine. Monopoly doesn't need to have a version for every city on earth or for your favorite movie; Park Place and Boardwalk work just fine. We got it right with shoelaces; you really don't see much velcro these days do you? Peanut Butter and Jelly in the same tube?? Are you kidding me? Is it really that hard to spread each on their own?
8) On the other hand, there are things just begging for improvement that are being completely ignored. Why do we use nice smelling, soft to the touch, flushable wet wipes for babies when adults use the toilet paper equivalent of sand paper to wipe themselves? We have terrible gas gauge dials in our cars where you have to guess how much gas is remaining. Why aren't digital readouts for fuel standard on cars now? And they should not only tell you how much further you can drive, but also exactly how many gallons are left and how close you are to the nearest gas station. And along those same lines, why do motorcycles have reserve tanks but cars do not? I'd like to see a lawn mower created that edges while you mow. I don't know why I should have to do both. Why do I still have to sign credit card receipts? Shouldn't credit cards just adopt the pin methodology and allow me to type in a 4 number password? Why don't windshield wipers work well or last long enough? We have technology that senses when it is raining and automatically turns them on, yet we can't figure out a way to actually make you see better once they are on. Why do we still have mailmen that walk from door to door to deliver the mail? I can't think of a larger waste of a person's time than to have them walking around delivering catalogs that no one reads, junk mail that gets thrown away, and bills that should have already been delivered electronically.
9) Why is the snooze button so large and the off button so small? No wonder we oversleep.
10) Why am I asked every time at the store whether I want paper or plastic? I'd like the store to just take a stand and pick one or the other. I don't want to have to make that choice and the reality is I still don't know which one is the right one to pick. And why do I have to be asked whether I want something double bagged? You are the expert...you tell me. And use a little logic when it comes to asking if I need help outside. Its one bag of Skittles, I think I can handle it. PS., the express lane is called that for a reason. You shouldn't be allowed to buy cigarettes there, even if you have less than 10 items. You shouldn't be allowed to use coupons, write checks, ask for a price check, buy stamps, talk to the cashier, talk to your friends, discipline your kids, chat on the phone, juggle your venti half-caf 180 degree non-fat soy latte while you search for exact change, chew gum, pick out candy, buy lottery tickets, or do anything else that prevents you from taking the shortest amount of time to pay for your 10 or less (That doesn't mean 11) items and get the hell out of my way.
4) Why don't you ever see any commercials for Tivo? Seems to me those watching commercials are their absolute target audience. Much like the apartment signs that read, "If you lived here, you'd already be home" I can see a Tivo add that reads, "If you had Tivo, you wouldn't have to watch this commercial". Does TV advertising simply go against the company's belief system? Possibly, but I know of no other company whose target audience will always be exactly the people who are watching the commercial.
5) I don't care about Global Warming and I'm fine admitting it. I will never go green except for the times when doing so saves me money. I will only buy a hybrid vehicle in order to save money on gas and to drive in the HOV lane. I will only recycle because I'm forced to do so and because my regular garbage can is not large enough to fit all of my trash. I will continue to drive an SUV or any other gas guzzling vehicle of my liking. I will run the air conditioner until I freeze, will throw away my batteries, keep electronics plugged in even when they are turned off, burn wood in my fireplace for as long as I choose, never care about my carbon footprint, and will never under any circumstance buy a carbon credit.
6) Why do people preface what they are about to say with, "To be honest,"? What about all of the others things you just said? Were you not honest on those? Are you only honest when you give me that disclaimer?
7) Why do we insist on trying to improve everything? I realize that constantly striving for perfection is part of what has made our country great, but I think some things are better left alone. For example, speed bumps worked just fine; why do we need speed humps? Pizza is quite possibly the greatest invention of all time, yet annually someone is trying to fill the crust with cheese, or have the sauce on top, or put meat in the crust, etc. Just leave the damn thing alone. New Coke was forced upon us when Old Coke was selling just fine. Monopoly doesn't need to have a version for every city on earth or for your favorite movie; Park Place and Boardwalk work just fine. We got it right with shoelaces; you really don't see much velcro these days do you? Peanut Butter and Jelly in the same tube?? Are you kidding me? Is it really that hard to spread each on their own?
8) On the other hand, there are things just begging for improvement that are being completely ignored. Why do we use nice smelling, soft to the touch, flushable wet wipes for babies when adults use the toilet paper equivalent of sand paper to wipe themselves? We have terrible gas gauge dials in our cars where you have to guess how much gas is remaining. Why aren't digital readouts for fuel standard on cars now? And they should not only tell you how much further you can drive, but also exactly how many gallons are left and how close you are to the nearest gas station. And along those same lines, why do motorcycles have reserve tanks but cars do not? I'd like to see a lawn mower created that edges while you mow. I don't know why I should have to do both. Why do I still have to sign credit card receipts? Shouldn't credit cards just adopt the pin methodology and allow me to type in a 4 number password? Why don't windshield wipers work well or last long enough? We have technology that senses when it is raining and automatically turns them on, yet we can't figure out a way to actually make you see better once they are on. Why do we still have mailmen that walk from door to door to deliver the mail? I can't think of a larger waste of a person's time than to have them walking around delivering catalogs that no one reads, junk mail that gets thrown away, and bills that should have already been delivered electronically.
9) Why is the snooze button so large and the off button so small? No wonder we oversleep.
10) Why am I asked every time at the store whether I want paper or plastic? I'd like the store to just take a stand and pick one or the other. I don't want to have to make that choice and the reality is I still don't know which one is the right one to pick. And why do I have to be asked whether I want something double bagged? You are the expert...you tell me. And use a little logic when it comes to asking if I need help outside. Its one bag of Skittles, I think I can handle it. PS., the express lane is called that for a reason. You shouldn't be allowed to buy cigarettes there, even if you have less than 10 items. You shouldn't be allowed to use coupons, write checks, ask for a price check, buy stamps, talk to the cashier, talk to your friends, discipline your kids, chat on the phone, juggle your venti half-caf 180 degree non-fat soy latte while you search for exact change, chew gum, pick out candy, buy lottery tickets, or do anything else that prevents you from taking the shortest amount of time to pay for your 10 or less (That doesn't mean 11) items and get the hell out of my way.
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