Did Anyone Find My Titleist?

I'd like to believe that golf balls have ambition.  That each ball grows up dreaming of being the best in the world and having a chance at being tee'd up at a Major Championship.  But just as with humans, it's not possible for everyone to be the best.  There has to be winners and losers. There has to be haves and have nots.  For some, they are born into a certain class and have no hope for upward mobility.  Those are the driving range balls.  If you are a driving range ball there is no chance you can do anything else.  You've been branded by the double stripe that says you are only good enough to get the crap beat out of you on a daily basis by sub-par hackers trying to rid themselves of a slice.  Sure, some of them may work at an upscale Country Club where the double stripes are replaced with a simple "Range Ball" label, but your destiny has still be determined in advance.  The best case scenario for the driving range ball is winding up in a bag to be used on a water hole where the golfer doesn't want to lose one of his "good" balls.  Yes, the life of a driving range ball is the lowest of the classes with little hope of anything better.

Next is our working class of golf ball.  The Top Flite is the poster ball for this class.  There are many of these balls available and all at minimum wage.  They do their job, but certainly are not specialized in any way.  When used properly by a skilled laborer these balls can accomplish great feats, but none of the greats would dare to use them.  It would be akin to Manolo Blahnik using a ferrier to make their shoes.  You are working class.  You are the bourgeois of the golf ball world.

However, not every ball settles for mediocrity.  A rare few work a little harder or were born into better families and become Titleists.  The college graduates become DT's.  The MBA's become HPT's, and the PHD's become Pro V's.  They are the cream of the crop, envied by all in golf ball world.  And yet even those balls aren't at the top.  There can only be one ball that is played by Tiger Woods and the competition to get there is....

Oh to hell with it.  I've been trying to write this damn analogy since late October and it's simply not translating from my mind to this page.  I've given it all I can and feel I need to post this failure instead of simply deleting it.  I'm tired of this post starting at me in editing state every time I go to my dashboard.  I'm not even going to proof read for grammar and spelling.  Tonight, I'm going to celebrate my failure.  Tonight I'm going to be a Driving Range Ball.