More Representative Than You Think

This year's Presidential election is unlike any most of us have ever seen.  A couple of fairly polarizing candidates who seem to bring out the worst (or at least most opinionated) versions of all of us (and 1 guy hardly anyone knows).  Some love Clinton, many hate Trump, but most of all I hear folks asking, "With all the people we have in America, these two are the best we've got?"  Well, I actually think Clinton and Trump (and Johnson) are far more representative of today's America than all of us are willing to admit.

The Social Media Effect
Imagine for a moment we took every post on Facebook over the past 4 years and averaged them out into a single profile of the typical post.  I believe it would be equal parts:

1. Boasting about our beautiful, intelligent, and incredibly above average children.
2. Bragging about the nice things in life we have.
3. Versions of our life that are slight to extreme positive exaggerations as compared to the lives we are actually living.
4. A variety of polite "Us vs. Them" posts innocently trying to convince "the other side" why what we believe is correct.
5. A serious of less than polite "Why the thems are not good people" in an effort to show everyone we have the solution to the world's most complex problems.

Now take a minute and read those 5 items again and think about whether that reminds you of anyone.

Anyone at all?

Still thinking?

Let me help.  What if I were to give you a few hints about each of the items above:

1. Eric, Ivanka, Donald Jr.
2. Planes, hotels, and high powered friends.
3. Worth billions of dollars (maybe), genius on his taxes (maybe), knows more than career US Military Generals.
4. Not all illegal aliens are bad, just the criminals.
5. Keep every Muslim out until we can figure out who is good and who is bad.

Got a little easier huh?  Of course I'm talking about Donald Trump.  I know most of us don't like to admit it, but our Facebook lives are generally full of the same type of rhetoric that comes out of the mouth of The Donald himself.  Now maybe ours is more politically correct.  Or maybe it's not as verbally harsh.  Or maybe it's not as brash, but it's hard to ignore the fact we tend to think, act, and verbalize in a far more similar way to Trump than we probably realize.  Maybe Hillary was right and we are a basket of deplorables.  

But wait, there's more.  If you think Facebook is bad, spend a few minutes on Twitter and the Trump similarities are even clearer.  Twitter created a brand new "Troll Nation" where people of all walks of life take great pleasure in publicly, yet anonymously, verbally abusing celebrities, politicians, and even friends.  We have even created sub-tweeting so we can be passive aggressive about calling out others without ever having to mention them by name.

Sound even more like Trump now?  But wait, there's more.

Hillary, the 30 Year Old (Politician) Spoiled Brat

We all know those parents whose kids can do no wrong.  From the time they were born until they leave the house, every mistake, wrongdoing, fight, bad grade, or general misconduct always comes with some sort of excuse.  What starts out "cute" as a baby turns into aggravating as a toddler, annoying as a teenager, and irresponsible as an adult.  Yet all along the parent continually makes excuses for the behavior.  Something along the lines of, "Well I know he/she isn't perfect, but he/she is not as bad as that baby/toddler/teenager/adult over there".  And no matter what their behavior is, they are still continually rewarded for doing their best, just showing up, trying real hard, or simply having good intentions.  

Enter HRC.  It seems no matter what she does there's always an excuse to show why her suspect behavior is really not all that bad.  Or if it is kind of bad, well at least overall she's not as bad as that evil Donald kid.  If collectively America was Hillary's parent, we've essentially raised a 30 year old politician who believes nothing she does is wrong, everything is justified, and by now she's entitled to the job she deserves.  The Hillary the Republicans dislike is essentially the political version of the kid they've probably raised.  

Gary "Participation Trophy" Johnson

Somewhere along the way we decided as a Nation that earning something was far less important than making our kids feel welcome and encouraged.  We decided to stop keeping score in youth athletic events.  We decided everyone should get a trophy at the end of the year no matter how well the team performed.  We decided to give out snacks after every game even if the kids were unmanageable monsters during the game.  We stopped using red ink to grade papers because it might be too harsh for the students.  We basically told our youth "Just show up and you'll be rewarded.  Hard work doesn't matter.  Your performance doesn't matter.  Your behavior doesn't matter."

Gary Johnson, and the Libertarian Party, are upset because he's being left out.  They believe he should be part of the process (namely the debates) essentially because "he showed up".  However, I'd like to know how he's earned the right to demand inclusion.  Where was he, or the Libertarian Party, over the past 4 years while the Democrats and Republicans were front and center?  Now I know some of you will say, "But wait, Gary Johnson is a career politician.  He was a Governor for goodness sakes!  He's earned his right!"  Kind of.  Sort of.  Maybe.  Not really, and here's why:

1. He was a Governor from 1994-2002.  Hardly recent.  Oh, and he was a Republican Governor, not a Libertarian.
2. He ran for President in 2012...wait for it...wait for it...as Republican.
3. When he didn't get anywhere near the nomination as a Republican, he switched over to the Libertarian Party...and promptly and massively lost in the General Election.
4. Did he then stay politically involved to help the country?  No, he went off to run a pot dispensary only to emerge a few months before the next General Election to give us priceless tidbits like Allepo, inability to name a global leader, and proclamations like "I won't smoke pot while running for President."

Now maybe I'm wrong, but that sounds a bit like the very child who doesn't deserve it, but who demands the Participation Trophy just because he showed up.

Conclusion

So if tens of millions of us are on social media acting like Trump.  And we are parenting tens of millions of kids who act like Hillary.  And we are coaching tens of millions of kids who want to be entitled like Gary Johnson, then can you explain to me again how these candidates aren't representative of the Nation we've become?  Just a thought.

Cornfield Junkyards

There’s a show on the History channel called “American Pickers”. It’s essentially Pawn Stars meets Antique Road Show meets Hoarders and chronicles the lives of two men who travel the heartland to find treasures where others see junk. They’ll happen upon a farm that appears to grow rusted ruins instead of corn, traipse around with the always elderly owner, and barter over pennies to purchase what others wouldn’t give a second look. What amazes me most is, unlike Pawn Stars, they are not flipping these renovated treasures for huge profits. In many cases they make about a week’s worth of Starbucks Coffee.

So, what in the hell is my point? Each of the items in these residential junkyards was once brand new and full of promise. Each item represents the hard work, innovation, and dreams of some inventor/creator who either wanted to make a difference, make a buck, or both. These relics were brought into this world with care and intention, polished to perfection, and wrapped in packaging meant to keep them safe until their rightful owner was found. At times, the new owner was not good and destroyed the object well before its useful life had been reached, but in most cases these objects were used properly and with a great deal of love. Yet somewhere along the way they just stopped being needed. Now they are strewn across acres of rubble, mere memories of what could have been. Their time has now passed; they are either no longer working or no longer needed. Their future holds nothing more than remaining in their inanimate retirement homes collecting rust until they either disintegrate or simply become part of the earth. These items were once purchased by someone. Someone thought enough of them at one point to part with their hard earned money in order to have them part of their possessions; some for pleasure and others for necessity. Sure, fads change, although I defy you to find me anyone who doesn’t appreciate a good Radio Flyer in mint condition. The “must-haves” of yesteryear will undoubtedly become obsolete by even greater innovation in our drive for ultimate efficiency and perfection (look no further than the phonograph replaced by the record player, replaced by the 8-track, replaced by the CD, now made extinct by the MP-3 thanks to our friends at Apple). The saddest part of the story is with each newer version, the quality of the product decreases as the features and coolness factor infinitely increase.

Again, so what the hell is my point? These inanimate objects are really no different than we are as humans. We are all born into this world full of promise with an endless array of opportunity and options. We are, in most cases, the product of someone’s dream; a 9 month creation filled with hope and love. We are brought into this world carefully wrapped in our cotton swaddles to keep us warm and safe as we get used to the harsh environment in which we now dwell. Most of us are lucky enough to be a part of a loving family who protects, nourishes, and encourages us in our growth. Some are not so fortunate and draw the short straw of abuse and neglect until their useful life ends much too early. Then somewhere along the way, or maybe gradually all along, we begin to lose our usefulness to those around us until we eventually become obsolete. If you are lucky this doesn’t happen until well into your advanced years, but I think we all begin to feel it much earlier. Our options become limited. People look at us in a different way and eventually we are replaced with the younger and more efficient versions of ourselves. With each generation the quality of character decreases as their abilities and coolness factor infinitely increase. What really makes this sad is we often times do it to ourselves. We tell ourselves we can’t instead of we can. We settle in order to make money, make someone else happy, meet social pressures, or any number of other convenient excuses we give until we find ourselves in the human version of the cornfield junkyard we call our lives. All along we sit there collecting rust, hoping against all hope that someone notices the value in us we once had.

Yet again, what the hell is my point? My point is we all either give rust or help to polish it away. We all have the ability to put a little shine on someone who has grown a little dull after years of exposure to the often harsh reality that is the daily grind. We can all look through our own personal cornfields of family, friends, and acquaintances to remember why we included them in our collection in the first place. My collection includes GI Joe with the Kung Fu Grip, a candle holder, a complete set of Blue and White army figurines, Gumby, a Carrot Top Poster, Snoopy, Pluto, Rin Tin Tin, Father time and Mother Goose, the two best Cabbage Patch Kids ever made, and a priceless bottle of wine with a beautiful bouquet that proves the adage it only gets better with age. It’s small by choice…helps me prevent the rust and neglect.

We don’t lose value, we lose attention. We grow rust out of neglect. And don’t let yourself become a meaningless part of an overgrown collection. Demand more and know your own value. The difference between us and the 1950’s bicycle partially buried in the mud and brush is we all have the ability to stand up, brush away the dust and bramble and walk away. So I leave you with one final question. How many treasures have you let leave your own farm for mere pennies on the dollar?

Out of Hibernation

It's been far too long since I've written anything.  One of those cases where work, family, and life in general have gotten in the way.  I'd like to believe my words were sorely missed, but the reality is the only comment I've recieved was from a reader who proclaimed, "No Wax Rants= Dead".  I suppose he was at least partially right.  I'd prefer to think of it as simply being in hibernation.  So fittingly as Spring is now upon us, I will attempt to come out of hibernation, shake the leaves from my back, and write once again about all that drives me nuts.

1) Why do people feel the need to tell someone who just had a baby that they are amazing and they don't know how they did it?  I realize that child birth is hard, but they are not exactly the first one to go through it.  And, regardless of how good or bad you are at it, the baby is coming out anyway.  How did they do it?  They had sex, they got pregnant, and 9 months later they had a baby.  I'm pretty sure it's been done before.

2)  Why am I made to feel as if I've crossed a picket line whenever I go to the store and don't buy Girl Scout Cookies from the 10 year old Mafia parked at the entrance?  Do they not see the 10 extra pounds I've gained in the past month off a mortgage's worth of Thin Mints and Samoas?  Don't they understand that after the initial euphoria of the first week of cookies Girl Scout sales become just as annoying as the Salvation Army and their damn bell? 

3)  The snooze button on my alarm clock extends the alarm by 7 minutes.  Why 7 minutes?  What could possibly have been the thought process of the engineers where they decided 5 minutes was too short and 10 minutes was too long?  It does not make any sense.  The world and its inhabitants like symmetry.  Did they decide that 7 was lucky? Is there some sleep research I'm unaware of that says an extra 6 minutes of sleep makes you angry, 8 minutes makes you more tired, but 7 minutes makes you feel rested, alive, sexually attractive, more spirtual, lowers your cholesterol, increases cognitive skills, stops a receding hair line, combats irritable bowel syndrome, and makes you more likely to get promoted at work?  Whatever the reason, I'm now forced to set me initial alarm for 3 minutes past the hour so my 7 minutes snoonze lands me on 5:10 am.  That will show them.

4)  Why do we feel the need to tell the waitress at a restaurant our correct name when asked for it on a wait list to be seated?  They don't know nor do they care.  They simply want to know how to contact you, how many people you have with you, and whether you are going to be a royal pain in the ass if the wait is 1 minute longer than predicted.  And why don't people hear their name the first time it is called?  Me, I'm anticipating it like a 16 year old girl waiting to see if the tube she just pee'd on has a plus or a minus. 

5)  I wonder if the people who make the Chia Pet are pissed off the Snuggie has replaced them as the go to gag gift?  Is it possible a merger could be in the making where we could have the Chia Snuggie (the Chuggie)? 

It's a short list today, but it's a start.  Hopefully it will spark a sudden rash of additional posts that essentially go unread.